LIVING A BETTER LIFE

It has occurred to me lately that a lot of people out in the real world have been living a life filled with chaos and unhappiness. Financial problems, marital problems, kid problems, you name it and I've heard people complain about it. Now, I've never claimed to be a relationship guru or a financial whizkid of any kind. My thing is politics and that's usually where I like to keep my focus. However, quite often, I have people asking me for advice, (which they seldom seem to take, for reasons I'm unsure of.) Perhaps it's because I tend to not sugar-coat things or that I simply tell them things that they don't want to hear. Like, that it may be their own fault.

Despite coming from a very bad start in life (poor, broken family, abusive father, early drug abuse, etc.), I have managed to have a great life and I swear to you, if I died this very minute, I would have no regrets. I have been married now for 30 years this August (to my one and only love). I own two houses and I am financially secure despite the fact that neither me nor my wife make much money. I have three children and six grandchildren who I love very much, and who I know love me. I feel I am reasonably happy nearly all the time. All of this didn't come about by some amazing stroke of luck. No matter what your fatalist friends may tell you, happiness is not an accident. So, in order to hopefully help all of you to have a better and more fulfilling life, I have arranged a few of my favorite little "words to live by." Follow them and I will promise, your life will be better in the long run.

1) "You are the most important person you'll ever sleep with." If your not happy with who you are, you can never be truly happy. Don't depend on your inner happiness coming from some boyfriend or girlfriend, from drugs or alcohol, or from fame or success. Be a good person within yourself. I know it sounds overly simple, but knowing your an honest, good person makes it easier to take the criticism that will always come, and easier to take the falls knowing you did your best with the best of intent. No matter how it turns out. Being a good person attracts other good people and that by itself will make your life better.

2) "Live within your means." Man, a lot of you need to know this one. Shiny cars don't make you a better person, neither do fancy clothes or a big house or a new cell phone. Those things are great for showing off, but they only attract other superficial people. The grief that comes with wondering how you'll pay your bills will only make you more miserable in the end. That hole in your heart can never be filled with things.

3) "Friends are the gift you give yourself." You wouldn't give yourself a crappy gift, why surround yourself with crappy friends? A good friend cares about you and you about them. People who are fun to be around are great, but fun times end, and I would much rather have a friend that will stick around when things go bad. Things to look for in a real friend are honesty and loyalty. Real friends don't hit on your girlfriend or boyfriend the minute you leave the room. They want to see you happy.

4) "Find another good person to share your life with." A lot of people make their life miserable because they tried to make a life with someone that they thought they loved, but they really only lusted after. Looks don't last. Great sex doesn't either. It really hard to have a good life when you jumble it all up with ex-wives, ex-husbands, step kids, child support and all the things that come with one bad decision. Take your time, watch for red flags. Before you even think about having children with someone, ask yourself, "Is this someone I would want for a parent?" No one thing has made a bigger impact on my life than choosing my wife as my soul mate.

5) "Care about other people." Your not likely to hold onto that great wife or great best friend if your a selfish bastard. Other people have needs and feelings too. Try to be sensitive to their needs. A really great relationship of any sort is a give and take. Two takers can not be together very long. One giver and one taker will eventually leave one feeling very used.

6) "Always have a plan B." No matter how well you plan your life, some things will go wrong. Prepare for it. Always think ahead. I've often thought that chess is a great learning tool for life. Those that plan three moves ahead are seldom completely surprised. Keep money in the bank "just in case", never tap out all your credit, buy insurance if you have things to lose. Know what you will do if plan A fails.

7) "Practice discipline." For some strange reason, discipline has been devalued by our culture and we are all less for it. Many cultures even have rites of discipline where people learn to stand on painful pits of fire or lie on beds of nails. All that you gain in life can leave in one moment of weakness. Ask any one of a number of politicians. Find a way to practice disciplining yourself by denying yourself something you want. Use your discipline to save money or to eat good foods instead of bad. Self discipline will help you resist temptation of all sorts. Those that bend to every temptation are guaranteed a life of chaos.

8) "Learn to love." This is a lesson that will take your whole life. Learn to love the beauty of a day. Learn to love the people around you. Learn to love the innocence of children. Learn to love the earth and all the wonderful things she has to teach you. Of all the things that God has given us, none is greater than love. Only when you learn to love yourself, only when you learn to love others, and only when you learn to love life, can you truly be happy.

One of my all time favorite quote comes from Albert Einstein, "You can choose to live in a negative universe or a positive universe, but the choice is yours." Mr. Einstein hit that one right on the head. I hope that all of you will take these words to heart and try, starting today, to live in a positive universe. Several decades ago, a miserable, drug addicted, lost soul decided he would change his life by adopting a few rules to be a better person. I have never been sorry. H.C.