THROUGH A CHILD'S EYES

Yesterday, a very unusual incident happened to me. Since we've been discussing people and the way we stereotype each other, I thought it would make a good example of what can happen when we don't give each other the benefit of the doubt. However, while exploring the different ways to approach the story, I thought about my own rules for the media (which to a lesser extent includes me). One of the rules I outlined was to "only bring race into the story when it's relevant." I thought about whether or not this story was absolutely about race and I decided that we could still learn the lesson without it. So, I'm going to let all of you guess the race of the players and I won't tell you any different. But be careful and use this as an opportunity to examine yourself.

While on my way out to my car after work, I noticed a police officer friend of mine (not the same one in the previous post) standing in the shade, watching the students making their way both to and from their cars. We started talking about the safety of the students and how people need to be involved in protecting one another. Suddenly, a call came over his radio about a suspicious man who was standing in front of our day care center. The campus police started swarming toward the day care center from every direction. My friend and I could see what was going on from our view across the river. Another call came across his radio. Several parents were demanding that the police come immediately as the man seemed to be very agitated. We could hear a couple of officers respond that they were nearly there. My friend then commented that he couldn't really see what the problem was as there was no mention of a gun or any threatening actions. More calls came over the radio describing the man, nothing seemed to me to indicate that he was doing anything unusual. Again my friend noted that it didn't seem suspicious to him, but the radio made it clear that the parents and staff were not taking any chances and would not let any kids out until this man was checked out. Finally, after a brief silence, a call came over calling for the "all clear". The man was simply waiting for his daughter and was agitated because she was supposed to be out by then, and he was in a hurry. Somebody it seems, owed somebody an apology.

Now, there are a lot of things to consider here. The staff had never seen this man before because his wife usually picked his daughter up. And he did seem agitated. But it seems to me they jumped from stage one to stage four without considering two or three. Why not just ask the man if he needed help? What was he there for? The answer did seem to be his appearance.

Now, I want you to consider the possibilities. Did you automatically assume he was black? Why? What about my friend? Was he the same color as the man? The same religion? Is it possible the man was a Muslim? An Arab? Maybe even wearing a turban? Could he have been a large white biker-looking guy? How about a skinny creepy-looking guy? What color were the parents? The staff? Take a second and think about where you thought this was all going and why.

Since I'm not going to tell you about the specifics, let me tell you what bothered me the most about this whole story. His daughter. It brought tears to my eyes to think of his little girl (our day care only takes kids under 5) standing there wondering what's going on. "There's a bad man outside?" she must have thought to herself. Certainly she could sense that something was going on. By not demonstrating one simple act; the benefit of doubt, we changed that little girl's perspective of how she viewed her father, and the way she viewed other people's opinion of him, based only on appearance. I'm sure her dad will be fine, by this stage of his life he knows the worst of humanity. But it saddens me to think we robbed a little girl of her innocence, because we couldn't be brave enough to ask an unarmed man, "Can I help you." H.C.